ophaeliia:

someone: how are you doing these days?

me:

rushhour2:

her name is Elevators

(via thistlefly)

musicalsaregreat:

Favorite Musical Moments | Hamilton
↳ Wait For It

(via thisbirdbites)

aasmplesffringg:

when I am forced to do any kind of public speaking

(via thatsthat24)

(via thatsthat24)

bogleech:

it will be a cold day in hell before I give up eating banana skeletons

(via paper-mario-wiki)

hungbunny-romandogbird:

turings:

turings:

why do all fictional capitalists look like that

(via thisbirdbites)

scarlet-benoit-is-my-rolemodel:

This is 100% how anxiety works

(via thistlefly)

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

this is from the wikipedia page for hades and have no idea if it’s true or not but i really hope it is because there are few things funnier to me than the idea of hades in the underworld banging on the ceiling with a broomstick because the mortals upstairs are slapping the earth at 3 am to get his attention

5 or so people have tagged this with ‘1-800-ARE YOU SLAPPING’ and i’d just like to say y’all are people after my own heart

(via violaswimmer)

c-bassmeow:

Idk which one is funnier

(via violaswimmer)

phil-the-stone:

phil-the-stone:

actually ive decided that infinity war just needs to be 2.5 hours of peter parker trying his best to address various adult superheroes as politely as possible and struggling a lot. attempts range from “your majesty mr panther sir” (accepted with only a small twitch of the lips & shuri giggling a lot) to “starlord”, which earns him 2 hours of riotous mockery from a talking raccoon

(via violaswimmer)

pancakeke:

saffron-not-so-joy:

rabdoidal:

for the love of fucking god let me reblog ads tumblr

is that a fucking game boy cartridge case?

this is a legit lifehack because keeping a condom in your wallet is bad news. the friction from it being in your pocket or jostled around wears down the latex and can cause it to tear. if you keep one on you in a gameboy cart case that won’t be an issue because no one will have sex with you

(via thisbirdbites)

thehobbutts:

audreyjensensgirl:

thehobbutts:

i used to think green apple was a flavor invented by the candy industry like blue raspberry bc i had never seen a green apple before I just thought all apples were red and long story short when i realized i was red green colorblind it really fucked me up

there’s also yellow apples

now yall are just fuckin lying to me

(via violaswimmer)

futurebeefcake:

octoprius:

futurebeefcake:

futurebeefcake:

futurebeefcake:

what kind of power move could I make towards my new therapist?

* takes a notepad and takes notes whenever they take notes *

* eats the paper at the end of the session *

this is why y’all are in therapy

(via dreamsoffools)

morethanonepage:

girilla-warfare:

girilla-warfare:

it’s a metaphor for my life

ALSO ALSO- a guy commented “pandejos” and I screech laughed until my ribs ached

Chinos Poblanos.

(via thistlefly)